I have been thinking about doing a blog for a while. Just thinking...and tonight I have finally decided to stop thinking and start doing!! You see, thinking is my problem. I think too much. I over think things...everything actually! It's called anxiety, & I have it :/
Whenever I feel I have this thing under control, up it comes...out of nowhere...to bite me...floor me...and it can be something so small that sets me off...something so silly, as most people would say, well at least that's what I think they would say!
Most recently I have had a feeling like people don't really know me & yes, you guessed it - it's making me anxious!! Constantly wondering what people are thinking about me & where I've come from. Feeling like they think I've had an easier journey than them, because I appear to be happy, confident, 'skinny' even! It's simply not true!
My journey has been difficult. It IS difficult. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder in my later 20's, but as soon as I received this diagnosis I could pin point it from many years earlier. In my first year of high school I was physically sick for three weeks. I have been fighting it ever since...
I have had many 'episodes' - many! Too many to get into here, and many invisible to anyone else around me. But, I've finally decided that it's time to talk...for the benefit of others, but mainly & most importantly, for the benefit of me.
I don't want to rattle on about everything right now. Things will come out as they come to be. For those of you who know me well, a little, or not much at all - stay tuned...and...just breathe...
Rachel
